And so we smile

Friday, March 31, 2006

I suppose this will be a long(er) post.

Hm recently read that we cannot motivate people no matter how much we want, motivation is something that is self-initiated, self-generated. And all we can do is create the setting for them to motivate themselves.

Sigh am I losing my self-identity nowadays trying to be friendly to others, and hm trying to gain motivation from them or vice-versa or what. Why do I still smile and wave and try to cheer up sb else, try to let everybody feel good and ready to work, when I just let out the pressure at home. Imagine a build-up build-up build-up in the pressure cooker, then kaboom when your brother starts squashing your cake with his fingers, you just scold at him and behave like some gangster threatening about not letting him off the next time. Then she comes in and starts scolding you for being horrible, immature, selfish, and some very irksome hokkien word (for not sharing the cake). Intolerable. Hoho yes and getting blamed for having too much stuff at hand, and not wanting to go sao3 mu4 and visit our grandparents, when in actual fact you just don't want to continue getting scolded in the car, and yes get criticized again in front of my aunt/ others just in case I explode again. Hai, who doesn't want to go sao3 mu4? It's once in a year and I missed the last one, oh well you just don't don't don't understand.
I suppose this, in their words, would just be another paragraph for self-defense.

It's 5+ more days. I'm still believing, I hope we all are (: . Hm and its no more point trying to "manipulate" others to think positive, and even start turning fake. The motivation's got to come from deep within ourselves. Maybe it's just my inituition, it really doesn't help talking bad about them, yes natural response or not, it'd just pull our morales down even more, and cause us to become somebody we wouldn't want to be. Haha I think I just lack tactic in communicating with others lah.

The sun's still up, yes even if it isn't, the stars will guide us at night (:.
Yes we will make him smile!
Yes I'll make sure I don't go out of tune for everything, and yes hold my notes properly for that part, slur and tongue nicely, keep proper timing and BLEND into the music. (note terminology: music)

And yes, I hope one day I get to experience the nice feeling of no pressure binding me at all.
Btw, carrying home my instru by public transport makes me empathize with the handicapped. Arghh. -fumes at lousy bus drivers-